the search for asian representative toys

My daughter is 4 this week! It feels like just yesterday we were meeting her for the first time, and at the same time I can't remember what life was like before she entered my world. Becoming a mom of a multi-racial child made me a lot more aware of racial representation in the world around us. I strive to maintain a household where my kids can see themselves and other non-white-normative characters reflected in the toys, books and media they consume. It is rarely easy and it takes a lot of time and intention, but it is extremely important to me.

When I sought out to get a doll for her, no stores in town had anything appropriate. Fortunately, there are some sites online that had a wider selection. One such site was Best Dolls for Kids, which I really appreciated as they have boy-dolls, biracial/ambiguous-race dolls as well as Asian-specific dolls. A relative living in Toronto managed to find us a great doll made by Corolle. I'm excited that Corolle also makes a little boy doll with a similar skin tone that I'll be getting for my son. I find it frustrating that it takes so much more effort to find a non-white doll, and that it will inevitably cost me more as well, since it is considered a more "specialty" item... as if there aren't many non-white parents shopping for non-white dolls out there?! But I am grateful that it is at least possible to find them at all!

Photo from https://shop.corolle.com/corolle_en/categories/baby-dolls/dolls-without-function/corolle-calin-maria-9000100300-en.html

We've also received the Hape Asian doll family from different relatives. I'm glad that Hape has sought to include Asians in their toy collection and that our family actively and intentionally seeks out racially representative toys for the kids - but I do take issue with how the dolls look. I actually wrote to them months ago when we first received these dolls as a gift, but I received no response. We've received it again this week for my daughter's birthday so it is fresh on my mind. Here is what the dolls look like:

Photo from https://www.hape.com/cn/en/toy/happy-family-asian/E3502

When I wrote to Hape, I asked them why the dolls of the other family collections are smiling with their eyes open but in the Asian family, they all have their eyes closed? Unless they meant for their eyes to be open and they truly just drew slits to represent Asian eyes? This is certainly a form of cultural racism. It also propagates the idea to non-Asian people (maybe many of whom do not actually know any Asian people personally) that this is what Asian people look like when they smile. My eyes are narrow, yes, but I can certainly keep my eyes open when I smile and they don't turn into arched slits. This theme is bravely confronted in the book Eyes that Speak to the Stars by Joanna Ho and illustrated by Dung Ho.

Photo from https://www.joannahowrites.com/eyes-that-speak-to-the-stars

The protagonist in this book is upset because his friend has drawn a picture of him with slits for eyes. He says, "But it didn't look like me at all." I could certainly relate to this feeling of not being seen or honoured for how I truly look.

Representation of ourselves and our children can be so important and impactful. A lack of it may leave BIPOC and/or our children feeling like we don't have a place in this society or we don't belong here. Being misrepresented or made into a caricature may leave us and/or our children feeling ostracized, humiliated or dehumanized. We have come a long way from where we were as a society, I'm sure (- at least it is usually Asian actors playing the Asian caricature in movies now instead of a white actor...), but we still have a long way to go... like seeing Asian dolls that can smile with their eyes open.

For the record, I did keep the Hape family dolls but I make sure to talk about them in an age-appropriate way. Here are some things I might say about them when we play with them, and that you may want to ask your child if you're finding yourself in a similar situation:

• Isn't it silly that their eyes are drawn like that? Why do they have their eyes closed?! Do you think our eyes look like that? How does that make you feel?

• Everyone's eyes are different, aren't they? Some are wider and some more narrow. What do you love about your eyes?

• The eyes drawn on this doll look like the eyes in the drawing from Eyes that Speak to the Stars. It made that boy feel sad to be drawn like that. Would you feel sad to be drawn like these dolls?

These images are out there, and not just from Hape. I'd rather address them head -on rather than just ban them. If at any time the kids do say the depiction makes them sad, then it's time to go. But the bigger picture is that they see something is inaccurate about this depiction of this Asian family and don't just accept it as being representative. Some kids may really not care or be affected by it, and some may be extremely affected. The important thing is to openly acknowledge it and give them an opportunity to navigate those feelings.

It is a tricky situation! Have you ever had a similar dilemma? How did you navigate it?